So Day 1 of this blogging adventure does not mean I've just starting going on dates. I've been on some all right.
I wouldn't say they've been epic, but seriously, what do you expect?
The summer of online dating wasn't something I planned...it was a totally spontaneous reaction to yet another shady and underwhelming experience at the bar. This random guy started talking to me. I think the guy might have been wearing sunglasses. At night. In the bar. Like a creeper. And I thought to myself? REALLY? This is my option? I'm not everyone's cup of tea but I'm HOT? What the hell is this???
...And the summer of online dating was born.
It should be said right off the bat that I have no idea what I'm doing. Dating-wise. Especially ONLINE dating-wise. I don't know what to expect, how to act, or whether or not I even care. I mean, part of me thinks it should all be natural, right? If you're gonna click with someone, it should just work...no games should be necessary.
Let me tell you what...even the guys that say they don't play games...want you to play games.
They want you to act coy, let them chase you. I get it, but...
SCREW THAT.
If I want to text someone, I do. Doesn't mean I'm in love, just means I had something to say. And I'm not sure this girl has a "coy" setting. I don't giggle. I don't bat my eyelashes. Sometimes when I laugh I snort. That's WHO I AM!
...ah, but I digress.
I've been on a handful of date-like meetings in the last few weeks. It's been INTERESTING.
Let's start with Vegetarian. (I've named these men by distinctive characteristics so its easier to keep straight). I asked him if he likes to be outdoors and trying new things. He said, "Its hard to do much of anything when you can't be away from your phone for more than 10 minutes."
FAIL.
(it should also be noted that he kept his cell phone on the table the entire time.)
Next, I went out for ice cream with a guy that was really nice on the phone. But when I got there...I was horrified.
He wore a JERSEY on a DATE.
Like a basketball jersey. With a t-shirt underneath. Like a 13 year old boy. And athletic shorts. And he didn't shave.
...And the craziest part is...
JERSEY liked me! I was not interested AT ALL. I wanted nothing to do with this guy romantically. I was polite, but barely interested. And he liked me! Because men are TWISTED and want you NOT to like them!
Whatever. I sent Jersey an email because I felt bad.
FAIL.
That brings us to the biggest fail of all. Maybe it was my own. Not sure.
I was actually interested in this one guy. Rugby. Didn't really realize I was that interested until we went on the date. He was the first guy I really talked to online so I took it slow...we emailed, then texted, called...finally, after 3 weeks of constant talking, we go on this date-ish thing where we meet up. It goes great, or at least I thought it did.
But I guess my lack of experience sort of screwed me over.
I didn't realize that AFTER the date was different than BEFORE the date. I texted Rugby the same way I would have before (I wanted him to think I was interested, of course) and everything seemed fine...until...
I realized that I have a hard time liking ANYONE openly. (Apparently I'm a hot mess when it comes to opening myself up and being vulnerable, go figure)
So I started freaking out...thinking, does this guy actually like me? Because if he doesn't...I need to cut and run NOW.
I started wondering why he wasn't texting/calling...something I didn't stress about at ALL before. Literally. We talked for 3 weeks and I never had a second thought about it.
And here I am...freaking out, because I'm afraid to like someone who doesn't like me...and in the process I pushed him away.
BECAUSE NO ONE WANTS TO DATE SOMEONE THEY THINK IS PSYCHO.
Its sad too. Because I'm so not psycho. I'm actually pretty low-key with that kind of stuff.
So, lesson learned. Moved on from that, but at least it taught me something about myself. I'm going to try to play the game. Even though its not who I am. I need to learn how to do this. So that when the right person comes along, HE doesn't think I'm a psycho.
Now if guys would stop wearing basketball jerseys on dates and being lame vegetarians maybe we could get somewhere.
